Our desires are powerful and yet we brush them off as unimportant or frivolous. But, they are – in fact – extremely potent. When was the last time you thought about what you want? When was the last time you put clarity – I mean, detailed descriptions and specific words – to your desires? I found that getting curious about my vocabulary – the words I choose regularly to describe myself, my situation, my surroundings, other people and what I want or need – has helped immensely in conjuring my own clarity. The inkling of unhappiness you may be feeling is most likely due to a lack of clarity. For me, it wasn’t until a moment had passed me by that I realized things had gone wrong and I felt frustrated that I hadn’t seen it coming. I wondered why I wound up feeling lack or less-than or… disappointed. I often felt “buyer’s remorse” for something I purchased, something I said, or an experience I had.
My lack of clarity left me lost on the wrong path in a fog too thick to see my own desires.
Why did I do that? Why did I say that? Why did I spend all that time chasing something that doesn’t feel right anymore? It’s imperative you listen to your heart for what you want. Its crucial you start flexing your soul muscle to create clarity – what do you want, where are you going, who do you want to be? No one can answer these questions for you – some will try, if you let them – but only you can make these decisions. If you don’t, you’ll be pushed and puppeteer’d through your own life by someone else’s hand. It could be your partner, your parents, what you see on Facebook or Instagram - we all want to feel righteous in our sense of self and originality but these things do (majorly) influence us. All of us are prone to looking outside of ourselves for the answers. We seek confirmation and advice. We seek permission or expertise. You are the expert. You are your own permission slip.
You are ordained in the holy ceremony of knowing yourself and it’s not only your right – it’s your duty – to know what you want as clearly as knowing what you don’t want.
Just because you’re passionate and detailed about your desires doesn’t make them written in blood or stone – they will change and evolve like you do. (And hopefully you are changing and evolving.) Knowing your desires and describing them with clarity gives you direction – it doesn’t give spontaneity a death sentence. Discover what’s worth pursuing for you, decide what’s right for you, learn what feels good for you. You get to choose and it’s the concern and business of NO ONE ELSE.
"The most revolutionary thing a woman can do is stop explaining herself."
Glennon Doyle Melton
Look within. Your soul is your compass. Your desires will fill your journey with joy. Your clarity will gift you ease and direction. Knowing yourself in these terms will lead you forward with confidence and contentment. It will change how you make decisions. And making decisions with clarity that are rooted in desire will set you free.
1. Become aware of the words you use. Get curious and look up their definitions. Change them if you need to.
2. Figure out what you desire. Get detailed. Write them out or get visual with a board on paper or Pinterest.
Danielle LaPorte and her Desire Map book.